Unable to sleep, I spent the whole night seeing her figure all
   by itself
And seeing it always in ways different from when I see her in
   person.
I fashion thoughts from my memory of how she is when she
   talks to me,
And in each thought she's a variation on her likeness.
To love is to think.
And from thinking of her so much, I almost forget to feel.
I don't really know what I want, even from her, and she's all I
   think of.
My distraction is as large as life.
When I feel like being with her,
I almost prefer not being with her,
So as not to have to leave her afterwards.
And I prefer thinking about her, because I'm a little afraid of
   her as she really is.
I don't really know what I want, and I don't even want to
   know what I want.
All I want is to think her.
I don't ask anything of anyone, not even of her, except to let
   me think.

Fernando Pessoa
July 10,1930